Time to Disappear (but thanks to the CBC, not for me)
A friend shared a newsletter from Affordihome.com with me recently and said it reminded him of Lost in France. This is what it read:
From €35K, time to disappear
We have all had those weeks where the only logical solution to our problems is faking our own disappearance and starting over as a mysterious local in a rural European village.
You know the fantasy. You throw your smartphone into the sea, buy a scratchy linen shirt, and spend the rest of your days growing oddly shaped tomatoes while refusing to answer emails.
Since we run a property advisory business, we cannot legally help you fake your own demise, but we can find you the perfect, highly affordable hideout. This week’s list is dedicated to the glorious art of ghosting society on a budget.
Grab your oversized sunglasses and a burner phone - here is where we are hiding out this week.
When I scrolled lower, this was what Affordihome shared from a Leggett Immobilier International listing:
Now a house for €35K is no €1 house like the one Marlow buys in my book (€35K is about $58K CAD, for those of you right now doing the mental math), but for under $60K, a house in La Bachellerie in the Périgord Noir, Dordogne, France, well, COME ON. That baby could go right on line of credit, right?
Here’s more to tempt you, because look at the French sunshine streaming through those double windows:
And look at those period, character-filled rafters:
And can’t you picture practising your rusty grade-school French with all the books in those wood and glass cabinets?
But then you keep scrolling, and the bathroom makes you wonder a bit, like, is that metal grate covering doors out to the main street right from where you pee, or is it just covering a very large window? And isn’t everyone going to see me shower, frosted glass or not?
And then the kitchen starts to make you think, maybe this is why it’s €35K.
And the peeling 1972 olive-green bucolic horse and rider wallpaper gives you pause, too, as you picture yourself trying to steam that off, which always looks easier in the how-to-renovate-your-house-on-a-nothing-budget home reno book than it is ever, ever going to be in real life.
But you keep scrolling for more photos, because if you’re anything like me (and maybe Marlow), you can’t help it – you’re interested now, and you’re already deep into fantasizing about your escape from hustle culture. And you see the semi-charming outside of the house, and you think, wait. Now hold on. Kitchen and bathroom aside, that’s pretty cute. Put a window box and planter or two out there, a brightly painted chair, and you’re done!
Yes, you think those things even as you look a second time and think, that grate over the window to the right of the front door—is that to the bathroom? But who cares. And then you see the charming village…
And you think, I’m sure the red tape would be doable. And I could understand the notaire’s French, I mean—there’s Google Translate, right?
So you search online for La Bachellerie and see that it’s a mere 5 hours south of Paris, and you start to think, I bet the TGV would drop me off somewhere close, so pfft, it’s not really 5 hours, is it? It’d be more like 3, tops… and you’re off.
And that’s how Marlow got herself into the best trouble of her life in Lost in France.
This is my first exposure to the Affordihome newsletter, so I can’t vouch for it or the organization, but here’s what they say about themselves:
📌 The AffordiHome Fine Print (We Promise It's Worth Reading!)
We're property enthusiasts, not real estate agents. We scour the internet for intriguing and potentially affordable European homes, but we don't sell or rent them ourselves… Remember, this newsletter is for inspiration and information. Always do your homework before making any big decisions. We're great at finding cool properties, but we're not financial advisors or psychics… By reading this newsletter, you agree that AffordiHome is responsible for fueling your European home fantasies, but not for any spontaneous property purchases!
Did I sign up to the newsletter? Yes, yes I did.
Am I still pondering following in Marlow’s footsteps? Maybe I am.
In other news
I gave a “How to Write a Romance Novel in 10 Steps” worshop at Evermore Bookstore on July 28 in Ottawa (and forgot to take a photo of the wonderful sold-out group) and had a great time.
Alan Neal of CBC Radio interviewed me on the “All in a Day” afternoon show about it and Lost in France. Here’s the link if you want to give it a listen.
Fun fact: The day of the workshop was massively squeezed, because I had meetings, after which I had to get to Evermore to set up the workshop, so I ended up taking the interview in the car parked on a side street near the store and praying to the Internet gods that this was a moment they would deign to give me good connectivity. You’ll be glad to know I had no problems.
Desirée Penner breaks the internet talking about rejection
My good friend, wonderful Manitoba-based visual artist and wonderfuller poet Desirée Penner, posted on IG on July 21 about dealing with rejection in her poetry life. Thus far, she has received 194 rejections to her poetry submissions—but has also received a good number of yeses too, which she knows she would not have received had she not, you know, submitted enough times to get 194 rejections.
So she created a series of black-out poems—and if you don’t know what that is, it’s very fun and something I’d like to try someday. Wikipedia says it’s “a form of found poetry or found object art created by erasing words from an existing text in prose or verse and framing the result on the page as a poem.”
Desirée’s post went viral. As of this morning, when I last checked in with her, 311,000 people had viewed the post, and almost 27K people had like it. Apparently a lot of people, not just poets, identify with being rejected, and loved Desirée’s way of dealing with it. You can check out Desirée black-out poetry post on IG too.
Desirée was interviewed on Lauren O’Malley’s Imperfect Conversations podcast, and you can read more about the post here.
Lastly, the next stop on the Lost in France book tour is…
Part of Blue Heron Books Stories in the Studio series in Uxbridge, Ontario, on Sept 16 at 7pm. It’s going to be beaucoup de fun. Join us!
Keep reading and writing, friends.
Until next time.
Claire